Old Journal Entries/Moments in Time

It's kind of disappointing that I'm at the same place I was several months ago. I read some old journal entries and I felt that my current situation almost perfectly mirrored what I was reading. There were things in my life I was unhappy about then and there still are.
However, I am pleased that I have another day to improve upon those thoughts and feelings. I am working on renewing my mind and my spirit so that not only am I focusing on doing things for God but also that I'm talking to Him throughout the day while I'm doing them.
This may sound trite or obvious but this is the only way for me to get through the day-to-day challenges so that I can move onto God's glory and eternity.
At the end of the day, if nothing else goes right, I know that I am one day closer to being with Him in heaven. I can't wait for that day!

The Journey has begun...

Day 2...MTC

Soul Stroll

I am glad that I had the opportunity to participate in the 2006 Soul Stroll at Coyote Point. The weather was misty--not too hot or cold. If it would've been any hotter, I may not have made it. The walk was very enjoyable because I was surrounded by black people and the magnificence of my home/backyard--the Bay Area. Walking along that path, I observed the planes landing and taking off from SFO. I could see the San Mateo Bridge and the skyline of Burlingame and Foster City. I passed by the museum and picnic areas I was forced to visit countless times during middle school. I could also see the Bay Area swamp which was littered with trash and smelled terrible.

But don't think that tarnished my image of the Bay.

I am sooo fortunate to be able to have lived and currently reside in this great area. What other major metropolis boasts of three major cities in such close proximity and easily available for my disposal. I am blessed for that.

5 Miles

I ran five miles yesterday and guess what?!? I'm still alive to talk about it! I honestly didn't think it was possible but that really just goes to show you how much your mind can and does control your body.

As an athlete, I admit that I don't know my full potential. I am great. I have the ability to walk, jog and run miles if I put my mind to it. I have the ability to be in shape and to not get tired after minimal exercise.

That's powerful!

That's also why I really need to get back to my exercise routine. It's been two long weeks and I never want to go that long again. I feel good when I work out--on of the few guaranteed and daily things these days that truly makes me feel happy and fulfilled.

Imagination

This is my word of the day/week/whatever. I just thought about how imagination allows one to escape any situation, in this case the workday. Today I imagined myself in Paradise—on my dream vacation sipping lemonade and thinking only about nothing in particular. I imagined myself wearing a royal blue sparkly night gown and dancing on stage with Chris Brown to my favorite song, Poppin. I imagined myself driving my new 2002 Toyota Rav-4 and maneuvering with grace into a tight parking space. I imagined myself at home in bed, forcing myself to nap for a third time during that morning. I imagined carefree thoughts. I imagined a stress-free life. Could this be the answer, outlet I’m seeking when it comes to dealing with my stress and worry? Is it possible to imagine myself out of my current situation so as to go through it faster and easier? Can imagining truly satisfy my deep desires of self-expression? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

P.S. I know this entry seems kind of weird but I wanted to accurately capture these feelings and thoughts so that I can think about them again later when my life is in a different state—a bit more stress-free.

Kid on Punishment

I feel like a kid on punishment. I can’t go “play outside” with my friends. Instead, I’m chained to a desk working like it’s not 6 p.m.

The only reason I’m writing this is because I want to remember how I feel. I want to remember what it’s like to feel trapped by this so called “time-entry” process. It sucks!

I can’t wait until I don’t have to worry about being billable. Soon, I’ll have a job that demands results instead of billable hours. So I know that means some late nights but it also means I can leave when the works done and not when I have 8 hours in the system.

Quite frankly, I’ve always preferred quality work over the number of hours I spent in an office.

Hard Work

No matter what anyone says, I know I work hard. In fact, I work my tail off. I work 11 hours each day if you include my 2 hour commute. Yes, we all have our lazy moments and sometimes even days. But for the most part, I am one “on-task” woman. I work hard throughout the day and when I come home, I’m tired. Sometimes, I even feel compelled to do some personal “work” at home.

Moreover, I complete my work as quickly and efficiently as possible. I also do my best at every assignment I’m given. My work is quality and most times error-free.

The reason I’m realizing all of this now is because I realize I often don’t get credit or even acknowledged by my co-workers. For a little while, this really bothered me. But I realized I’m not doing all this hard work for them, I’m doing it for God. And ultimately, it doesn’t matter what they think as long as I know I did good before Him.

So the next time I’m feeling over-worked and under-appreciated, I’ll keep in mind that as long as I’m doing God’s best, I’m doing a DARN good job!

Busy Busy Fretfully Busy...Except for me

It seems like everyone’s busy. Everyone around me is doing things…Why am I not so busy? I miss the days of being so busy I didn’t have time to talk to anyone. I miss the days of being tired because I truly put in a hard day’s (and all night’s) work. What will it take to get to that level?

My plans to go to grad school, while just plans, would give me the desired craving of busyness. I would have a lot on my plate all the time and would desire to take on more. Plus, I would be in a new city so I’d be forced to explore and make new friends.

What else could I do to “busy” myself? I’m open to suggestions.

Passive

How passive am I really? I believe a lot of what
has happened to me
professionally, academically and in other ways
has largely been influenced
by others. I mean that I believe God has placed
certain people in my life to
point me in the right direction.
But on the other hand, am I merely being passive?
Should I go against or challenge the
opportunities that seemingly walk right
under my nose? Or should I seize them, thanking
God for making my choice and
ultimately my path and decisions clear? 

Niche Publications

If you really think that cutting niche content
and publications is going to
keep readers, think again. By getting rid of the
original one-of-a-kind
aspects of a newspaper, you're stripping its
character.
Plus, you don't keep readers or win new ones by
pissing them off. Just
because they haven't been profitable doesn't mean
people don't read them or
want to read them. 

Buyouts

Newspaper buyouts remind me of the days when
popularity determined who could
ride along in a car packed full of teenagers. Here's the scenario: A
group of about five high
schoolers decided they wanted to escape campus
hell for awhile. So they got
together with the person who had a driver's
license and a car. Then as they
traipsed across campus to leave, more people
wanted to tag along. By the
time the group got to the car, they were a group
of 20. As many people as
possible squeezed into the four door compact car.
But only a fourth of the group
would fit-the most popular and not the biggest, space
inefficient people. That's
kinda how it is in the newsroom except that too
many people want to squeeze
into the car and many of those people may be old
heads who need to give it up anyway.
The effect: hard feelings and
crushed spirits. I may be
exaggerating but that's how the prospect of
newspapers buyouts makes me
feel. 

God has a plan

I don't even want to begin to feel those feelings
I felt when I found out
that I wasn't going on a Labor Day, 7-day cruise.
Disappointment is only one
word to describe my feelings. Though upset, I
tried to make the best of the
situation by starting my internship at The
Mercury News a week early. I
kicked myself for two weeks about this decision.
I mean why would I want to
surround myself with work when I really should be
on vacation?
Anyways, they just made a startling yet eerily
not so surprising
announcement here at work today: A voluntary
buyout of 52 from the company's
current 332 newspaper employees, leaving 180. The
date of effect for these
changes: Nov. 14.
Because I started a week early, thankfully, I
will not be affected as
drastically by these changes. I won't be here to
feel them. I can only
imagine how different and dire things will become
around the paper.
What really struck me, though, was that while the
paper's editors were
discussing these announcements, people were able
to make light of the
situation and joke. Many more even were able to
smile afterwards. I guess
things could have been worse but I have been
impressed by the kindness and
good heartedness of the folks here in this
newsroom. With all that the staff
has been through, it really is a wonder they can
smile.
As I continue to format my resume, leaf through
potential job leads and plan
what I call my "escape", I have to say thank you
to the people who have made
life as a journalist a little bit better. 

Aspiring artist...

I often wonder if I am part of the problem, however, unknowingly. I write
what the editors want me to write. At this point in my career, I have no
choice. So I am a pawn in the bigger game. I do exactly as I'm told. I get a
pat on the back from my editor and colleagues.
Then I'm berated by the general public for getting it wrong. I didn't want to get it wrong.
There is no way I could have seen this coming. Quite frankly, I didn't think of
it and neither did my "brilliant" editors. It wasn't obvious to us.
But I am forced to go along with it-mainly because I don't pull any weight
yet. I know my day will come but how soon? I don't want to spend all this
time pleasing the higher authority and as a result mislead the public. You
may be thinking, well just stand up for what you believe. I would do that if
I knew better. But I almost feel as naïve and lied to as the audience who
reads my stories. I don't want to misinformed and then turn around and do
the same to others. I can't stand this mind game. I have too many years
ahead of me and would hate to spend even a year tarnishing my name and
reputation so early in my life. 

NOLA: Symbolic of the Future?

The storm that ravaged the Gulf Region proved to be both a momentous and historic event--as well as a learning experience.
The Times-Picayune, New Orlean's daily city paper, has managed to continue dispersing the news, even without the amenties of a traditional newsroom. No, you can't get the paper in hard copy format. But you can read the website: http://www.nola.com/newslogs/breakingtp/index.ssf?/mtlogs/nola_Times-Picayune/archives/2005_09.html#078036
This website, updated very frequently each day, contains honest, hard hitting news stories from a town that has ceased to exist in any normal way. The journalists telling the story write from the heart because after all, this is their city and their coverage area.
However, what is interesting to observe from this situation is that despite the lack of paper pages, the newspaper is still distributing its information, its news stories. Many people across the country have been able to read the paper and have taken notice that despite the odds, the paper must come out.
Just because they can't print a page doesn't mean they can't inform the public.
What mainstream newspapers fail to understand is that their audiences are going that route. It IS possible to read the news in its entirety online. This should be encouraged. Newspapers should shift the focus from its tangible pages to the virtual pages of the online world.
It's almost impossible not to these days.
Newspapers across the country: Take note.
NOLA is accomplishing great things.

New Cut, Fresh Start

So this morning, I chopped off a good six inches of hair! To celebrate this momentous occasion, I figured the public crier approach was best.
My hair looks and feels great--not to mention, I feel 10 pounds lighter.
I know I haven't been around for quite some time...I've been embarking on this journey they call life--more specifically, life after college.
I am interning at the Baltimore Sun for the summer. Check out my work at www.baltimoresun.com

Well, I know there's a desire, maybe even a need for more here, but you'll have to stay tuned.

Been awhile...

I know I've been missed here.

I can't really say that I've been exceptionally busy--just simply preoccupied with other things. I will have more time on my hands these days and I plan to maximize that time.

Annenberg Honors Grad/Magna Cum Laude status--That's what I'm working towards. Everything else is extra and should be fun for me.
I'm going to Baton Rouge for an HBCU newspaper conference next weekend. This semester is looking good for me...It will wrap up to be a great end to my last year at HU.

No church

I should have gone to church today...I just felt that void today as I was laying in bed. There's no excuse, I should have gone. It kinda set the course for my day. I felt mostly negative as I went about my day. But I am going to make a concerted effort to do better.

I love the Merc

Gotta love the Merc.

I have been waiting my entire journalism career to return to this distinguished paper of record and I have finally been afforded the opportunity...GREAT, right? NOPE, too late. I have already accepted another internship.

I just hate to be so close yet so far. I wish things could have worked out differently but then again I haven't even been in B-more yet.

Well things could be worse...I could STILL be looking to work.

Library

So yesterday, I had a wonderful opportunity to spend a couple hours in the Cupertino Public Library. It was a small piece of heaven for me. My brother on the other hand was bored out of his mind. It was a good experience for me nonetheless confirming my love for all libraries. I had a chance to get a couple hundred pages of The Other Woman read. I am on a reading spree now...

Long Time

It's been awhile since my last post...mainly because I've been travelling and without internet access.
Anyways, it's now official. I'll be at the Balt. Sun this summer!

I'm chillin' at home trying to enjoy my LAST long winter break. It sure has been nice. It's gonna be a LONG semester.